While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A black guy gets a job...

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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what do you call a dead black man? dead

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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