There's a car about to hit me.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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i'm funny

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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