So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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21

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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