What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

This one time at band camp music was played.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mumma is so stupid her IQ is 40.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops