baby seal walks into a club

What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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Tunechi

Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

A homosexual walks into a church

What time is it? 20:45.

Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

Michael Castillo is gay

Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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