Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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[Jewish Joke] Some Guy: OOOOHH I GET IT Me: Anne Frank-ly, how did jew nazi this coming?

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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Q: Whats black, white and red all over? A: not me

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knock knock Labrinth come in

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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