When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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fduck

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Im black

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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Why did the boy go to the CONCENTRATION camp. He was a Jew

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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