Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

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i have two hands.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

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the WNBA

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Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

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Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

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how do you start a stamped in mexico roll a nickle down the street sad thing is you just lost a nickle

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

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Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

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What did the skateboarder do when he was trying to do an ollie kickflip 360 and tailslide on a rail and dismount heelflip to manual? He fell

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If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops