why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

knock knock who's there me me who? me me me me who? me me me me me me who? and the more the joke continues the less funny and more annoying it gets

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

Two elks were out flying one day. One of the elks turned to the other one and said: - You have a cinnemon bun in your eye. - What? - You have a cinnamon bun in your eye! - WHAT? - YOU HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN YOUR EYE!!! - I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN MY EYE!

(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

you know you are a prostatute when your report car is full of Ds

every cloud has a silver lining

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

Why is this funny? cause it is funny

How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...