Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

squirrels with massive bonerss

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The Game.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

banana

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

these are shit

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

look in the sky! its a bird, its a plane........ Its Miles

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +6

One below was by me: Walter H

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops