Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's white and horny? a unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did meredith and nick have in common an i

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your mother hates you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a dirty black person? Unhygienic

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops