Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

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What did God say when he mad another black guy? Danmit i burnt one again.

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I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

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One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

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Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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this is not an anti joke

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HURT

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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