What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

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A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

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Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

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Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

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A black guy walks into a basketball court.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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Why is this funny? cause it is funny

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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potatoes

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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