What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he was stupid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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Why couldn't the black man swim He never learned how.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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