A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

thumb_up thumb_down -4

KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There was 2 men walking down the street one fell on the floor from a heart attack and the other started to molest a lonely child. They then heard a bang and they found a dead baby lying in a bin. The moral of this story is to.... Knock Knock Whos there? The Police? The Police who? The police we are here to inform you your nan got hit by a truck and got decapitaited, Sorry but your nan is dead. way

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Psychics.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops