Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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WNBA

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Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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Jesus was a good guy

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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*you're

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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