What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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A midget walks under a bar

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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Justin's humor

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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