Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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Jerry.

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What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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the WNBA

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A BRICK!!

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you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

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What didnt rebecca black do today ride the bus

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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What's the difference between Vagisil and Black People? They are disgusting!

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yo mama is so fat even dora cant explore her

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Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops