im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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Whats 9 + 10? 19.

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How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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What's worse than a snake in your boot. A boot in your snake.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

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Knock Knock. Whose there. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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PISS OUT MY ASS!!!!!

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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