Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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42, that is all

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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that awkward moment when your teachers a duck

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Q. What did tthe little kid say when the bully punched him? A. Ow.

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

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Membean

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What didnt rebecca black do today ride the bus

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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