Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Harry Styles

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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