Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

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Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two solely on her hair color, proceeds to kill them with a single shot glass. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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