Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats bloody and mingen Scabbaz head

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened to the little kid who went surfing? Answer: he gOt eaten by a shark

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

rishi is gay (coventry england)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red violets are orange......... Wait did I do that wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Help I'm being raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a person smokes weed... and gets high

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops