Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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Dusters blow stuff.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

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what do you call 10 dead babys lunch

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Hey we just met And this is crazy But my name's Kony And I stole your baby

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops