What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because your a fag.

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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