This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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TWIX PAUSE!

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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Q: Whats black, white and red all over? A: not me

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A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops