Wanna know something funny? Your face

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Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

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Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

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WNBA

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What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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