Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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whats black and white? a zebra

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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