What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Guess what! what haha u listened to me

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

thumb_up thumb_down +11

4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops