Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +26

roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

TWIX PAUSE!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops