A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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whats 69+2? 71

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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Knock knock What?

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Which is longer? A rope...

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A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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