Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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Hi

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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