Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops