Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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*spongebob voice* 25

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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