What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops