Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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