hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There's a car about to hit me.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did meredith and nick have in common an i

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

pickle sniffer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops