Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What do racists call a disgusting filthy monkey that savagely jumps around in the jungle and steals white chicks? A: The same as the rest, Donkey Kong.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

thumb_up thumb_down -18

1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the skateboarder do when he was trying to do an ollie kickflip 360 and tailslide on a rail and dismount heelflip to manual? He fell

thumb_up thumb_down -18

(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops