A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What's a black person's favorite thing to eat? Food.

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops