How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Cleveland winning something

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What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

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What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

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Get in the car.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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