Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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do you currently smoke? i hope not.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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