why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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Yo momma so fat, she died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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