Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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Flop dog

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So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

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What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

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one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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