What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

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pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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