Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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Potassium? K.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops