Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

what do you call 10 mexicans standing in a line? It's probably a lunch line for a taco vendor. And even this is just a coincidence. Everybody loves tacos.

What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

im watching you..

Win and Beau have no friends

What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

What's clear and wet? water

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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