Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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A mans opinion.

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knock knock get lost!

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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Women's rights

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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