Roses are red violets are blue come on love show me you boobs/by kw

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Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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Sorry I am like so fucking wasted still, I keep giggling and laughing all of the time.

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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I am a nigger.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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