A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

thumb_up thumb_down -36

roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

thumb_up thumb_down +59

A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's a black person's favorite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops