Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock knock. Who’s there? Your son. Your son who? DAD WHY CAN’T YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM GAY!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a gay dog? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

thumb_up thumb_down +32

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops