Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the African Americanfemale at an abortion clinic? Because she just killed a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

ORGANISM. Yeah, I thought it said "orgasm" too.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

These anti-funny jokes are so funny, i realized that i would like to read another one

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

thumb_up thumb_down -33

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

black people are white when i use night gogles

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops