There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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Once upon a cross

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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homework

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What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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fava beans

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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