what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

Do you like your life? No. OK.

Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

women's rights.

One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...