why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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Cancer

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

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What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

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person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

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Whats worse then people People copying other Anti-Jokes. People copying other Anti-Jokes about the holocaust.

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ORGANISM. Yeah, I thought it said "orgasm" too.

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Whats worse then this joke? Its punchline.

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

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Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

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What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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