HEY YOU!!!!

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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you

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Your momma so fat, she's fat

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

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How do you differentiate a Canadian from an American ? The American will have an American Passport,while the Canadian will have a Canadian passport.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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