What's funnier than 24? 25

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

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whats long and green? weed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops