A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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e4ryka mcgyuire rode stephanie sinnott

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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Black Friday

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The Pope

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The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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